benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize