I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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