Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize