Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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