stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
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Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
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I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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