I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize