I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize