somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
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We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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