I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize