When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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