i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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