Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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