He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i wish my penis had a tongue
We need to rekindle our bromance
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I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
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Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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