So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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