Can i not drive my cunt home
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize