I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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