the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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