I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize