Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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