I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
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