Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize