I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
even my farts smell like vagina
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize