ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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