Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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