K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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