Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.

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(571): View more from Virginia

every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(608): View more from Wisconsin

you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"

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(203): View more from Connecticut

our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.

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(410): View more from Maryland

In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub

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(316): View more from Kansas

He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.

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(940): View more from Texas

I fuckin love you!

(214): View more from Texas

I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.

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