Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
