I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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