Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
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She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
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I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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