Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize