Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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