Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize