Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize