You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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