Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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