he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
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I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
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No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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