Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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