smell my finger.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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