I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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