The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize