Quick, to the slutcave!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize