I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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