I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
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He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
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Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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