my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
it glows. i had to have it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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