can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize