I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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