I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
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I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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