let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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