pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I cut my penus on the lid.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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