we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
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Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
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We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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