the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize