Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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